I am a healed wounded mother who is committed to the healing of other mothers. My motivation is to get women talking about things we usually keep to ourselves out of embarrassment, shame or feeling that no one could possibly understand what we’re going through. I know…because I’ve been there. In that alone place, thinking, “how did I get here?” And feeling like the pain will never end. I identify as a healed wounded mother because:
1) I had unhealed wounds from my past. I avoided looking at my past. But only by going back and facing my past was I able to release it. With the emotional triggers of the past gone, I enjoy the present and look forward to a more fulfilling future!
2) My pains affected my relationship with my children. My parenting was reactionary especially with my oldest daughter. I reacted from my past pains and it showed up in our relationship.
3) I felt embarrassed and ashamed. As a psychotherapist, I thought, “I SHOULD have parenting under control without problems. Boy was I wrong. But because I had a troubled relationship with my oldest daughter, I was ashamed. Only a few knew my struggles and they didn’t know I could barely keep my head above water.
4) I was afraid I would be judged or blamed. On some level, I believed that everything wrong in my relationship with my daughter WAS my fault, so of course I would be blamed. I wanted to avoid that for sure! Besides I judged myself enough and I feared outside judgement on top of my own.
5) I spent my 20s estranged from my father. I grew up a “Daddy’s Girl” until my parents divorced when I was 10. My relationship with my father changed and unraveled. I share this story in my chapter, “Healing the Wounded Mother,” in the upcoming book, “Fiercely Speaking” (release date Fall 2019). I was forever changed as was our relationship. In my 20s, I made the decision to disconnect. But estrangement hurts no matter who cuts the ties.
6) I was estranged from my oldest daughter for 7 years. From the time she was 18 until 25. I struggled during those seven years to determine how close was too close, what to say and not say to her, what actions would push her away for months, even years at a time. I endured intense external pressures from family to reconcile our relationship. However, it seemed that she and I rarely held that goal at the same time. When I would reach out to her, she would push me away and when she would reach out, I wasn’t ready. And when our timing was in sync for reconciliation, one of us would say or do something that would cause our unstable attempt at rebuilding the relationship to crumble on its faulty foundation.
I share this with you because I want you to understand that I get it! And I want to help. I worked hard first heal myself, which has resulted in a reconciled relationship with my daughter. Now I want to help you do your healing and create a life you love. I must admit that becoming healed does not insure healed relationships for every client. However, when we are no longer broken, we can manage broken relationship even if it means not reconciling.
I did my work with the help of many other professionals, but it took me years to get better. When I truly understood what stood between me and my healing, I was motivated to share it with others. I tried many ways to get over the hurt and pain. Each method took me a step closer, but I was still struggling. Once I found what worked, I was excited to start using it with my clients.
What if I told you there’s a method of healing that will allow you to release the emotional charge of your past or any situation that holds you back? Would you be interested? Contact me if you’re interested in personalized healing.
